


Secrets Bring Us Closer

by JadedBumbleby



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Abuse, Abuse Mentions, Angst, Attempted Suicide, Doki doki literature club - Freeform, Don't worry it's a happy ending I GOTCHU, F/F, Masato/MC(Chikasue), Monika is attention starved, Monika(Collins), Natsuki searches for her Mom, Natsuki(Suzuki), Natsuri - Freeform, Sayonika, Sayori suffers from clinical depression, Sayori(Arata), Self Harm, Suicide and Depression mentions, Yuri battles with social anxiety, Yuri(Furukawa), lesbihonest, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-13 11:47:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20581982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadedBumbleby/pseuds/JadedBumbleby
Summary: Monika, Sayori, Natsuki, and Yuri each struggle with individual problems...and secrets they need to keep. Natsuki and Yuri form an unlikely alliance when Natsuki hears her mom is alive and well, and starts a personal search. Yuri is unsure about the search, and wonders why her Mom left and her Dad lied if this wasn't going to hurt her. Sayori battles clinical depression and Monika is starved for attention. While Yuri helps Natsuki search for her mom, Monika is there to comfort Sayori, as well as Masato Chikasue(MC). What is there left to discover, are any of them being completely honest with each other?





	1. Stress Relief

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Airplaneguy9](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Airplaneguy9/gifts).

> ♡Creds to Aero(Airplaneguy9) for editing my works, it really means a lot!♡  
This is an original fic by me, JadedBumbleby, if you wan't to use it as inspiration please ask me first.  
If you have any fanfic requests be sure to let me know!  
Enjoy my Natsuri/Sayonika fic!  
(NOTE: All the fanart in this fanfiction is for your enjoyment to make it more visual, IT IS ALL ORIGINAL WORKS. Please don't use any of the images without asking me! It will be subjected to copyright!)

**Yuri**  
  
I ran the sleek knife across my soft arm, slicing a clear horizontal line. Blood pooled out of the wound and I shut my eyes in pain, but felt my shoulders relax at the sensation. I sat on a closed toilet in the girls bathroom, the cubicle bolted shut, I couldn't allow anyone to see me like this, like a freak. Who enjoyed cutting themselves anyway? This was my stress reliever, especially under social pressure. The blood continued to leak in streaks down my arm. Definitely couldn't afford to leave a mess, I grabbed some toilet paper next to me and wrapped it around my arm, small red splashes seeping through the thin tissue. I pulled my blazer sleeve down over my arm and opened the stall, nobody was outside. I pocketed my knife and made my way to the club room. As I gracefully walked down the hallway, taking out my favourite book as I went, Portrait Of Markov, might as well get it ready for reading. I felt a forceful bump on my shoulder stop me in my tracks, I turned my head to three giggling girls looking back on me as they pranced away. Stupid Akari and her gang of misfits. “Watch where you're going next time Yu-ri” Akari chanted in sing-song voice as she continued to skip away, flanked by Hana and Ruka. I looked down, picking up pace as I headed to the clubroom.  


Natsuki was already in the closet with her manga when I arrived, I had been running a little late from my...'stress relieving'. Monika was seated at her desk, she looked up for a moment, smiling “Hey, Yuri” she greeted, I nodded at her before she went back to writing. I noticed Sayori wasn't here, not like that was unusual since she was late to everything. I took a seat in my usual desk and cracked open the book, basking in the pages of my novel for the - I don't even know how many times I've read this. Monika stayed fixated on her writing and Natsuki made no noise from the closet as the minutes passed. “Hey, guys! Sorry I'm late!” shouted Sayori as she burst through the door, startling me. “Hey, Sayori!” Monika rested her chin on the back of her hands, smiling good-naturedly. Natsuki jumped out the closet, cradling her manga, “Took you long enough, dummy.” Natsuki flared. I noticed a figure behind Sayori as she moved to the side. “This is Masato Chikasue, my very good friend!” Sayori literally bounced with excitement, but her brown haired friend was seemingly bored. “I like to go by MC actually” Masato interjected, laughing at Sayori's bouncing. “This is why you asked me to make cupcakes?!” Natsuki crossed her arms over her chest tightly. “Heheh” Sayori rubbed the back of her head. “Hello!” Monika greeted, getting up and walking towards him. “Are you considering joining the club?” Monika beamed. “I-” Masato looked pressured. “I'm not opposed to it?” He smiled politely. “H-hey” I whispered loud enough for them to hear. I thought it was about time I said something. Masato looked in my direction, waving his hand, before Sayori pushed past him hurriedly at the sight of Natsuki taking out her cupcake tray. I giggled softly as Natsuki tried to hold the tray above her head, out of Sayori's reach, which was obviously ineffective as Sayori claimed a cupcake and ran away, chomping on it. “Geez!” Natsuki protested in a pout, carrying the tray to my desk and placing it on the top. “Come and get, I guess” Natsuki turned towards the others. Sayori creeped closer, empty wrapper in hand and Natsuki growled at her, “No more for you!”. I looked down at the fluffy white cupcakes, they had cat faces on them, and were obviously adorably cute. It was Natsuki who made them after all. Masato and Monika each took a cupcake, also taking time to appreciate the cat faces like I did before biting into them. I looked towards Natsuki, as if asking permission before taking one. “What are you waiting for, Yuri?!” Natsuki narrowed her eyes at me and I hurriedly picked one up and bit it. Her eyes were fixated on me, waiting for a reaction. “Really nice” I spoke with my mouth full and she smiled with pride, as if to say I know, I'm the one who made them after all. I groaned internally. Masato and Monika had both finished their cupcakes and had thrown the wrappers in the trash. Sayori continued to look at the cupcake tray and Natsuki sighed. “One more!” she threatened as Sayori dived at them. I took out a poem I had been working on and started going over it, Sayori was hovering over Monika as she wrote something and Masato was in a desk eyes closed. Natsuki presumably in her closet again. I went over the lines of my poem, “Ghost Under The Light”. Just then Natsuki appeared over my shoulder. “What's that?”, “N-nothing!” I exclaimed, turning the page over with a thump slamming it down on the desk. Masato, Monika, and Sayori looked up at me. “I-It's a poem I've been...-” I looked at them all. “You know...”. “That's great, Yuri!” Monika clapped her hands together in a single motion, “We should all share poems as a club activity!” She beamed at us all. “Huh?!” Natsuki looked horrified but Sayori backed Monika up, “Yea, it will be fun!” She pulled jazz hands. Groan. Monika looked at Masato, “First times are never easy! Don't expect too much from your first poem!” She advised and he tilted his head, “I guess I have no choice but to join” Sayori rushed to him and practically tackled him, encasing him in her arms. “YES, score!” Sayori giggled and Masato sighed. I thought I saw Monika narrow her eyes for a second before smiling warmly, “Everyone pack up, can't wait to see you guys tomorrow!”. I neatly put my poem and favourite novel in my backpack, lifting it over my shoulders as Sayori skipped next to Masato out the room, I assumed they walked together. “Thanks for the cupcakes!” She shouted halfway outside the room. Monika gathered her things waiting for us to hurry out so she could lock up. I looked back at Natsuki, packing her manga back into the classroom closet. “Why don't you take those home?” I asked, eyeing her curiously. “It's none of your business!” she retorted, shutting the closet and walking past me.  
Natsuki was such a brat sometimes, I watched her leave, her pastel pink hair bouncing as she left. Well, ok then.


	2. Papa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsuki stands up to Yuri's bullies after knowing the feeling of being put down by her dad, Yuri is grateful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♡Thanks to Airplaneguy9 yet again for editing my works, check out his profile. He has recently posted a FNAF fanfiction!♡  
I hope you enjoy this chapter!  
-JadedBumbleby

**Natsuki**   
  
Walking home was tiring, especially when I felt pangs of hunger in my stomach, screaming at me to take a break. The littlest things took it out of me, like something as small as climbing a flight of stairs. But there was never any food at home, Papa only kept his alcohol in the pantry. I felt my feet drag along the sidewalk, they felt so heavy. When I reached home, I took out my keys and unlocked the door, twisting the doorknob. As I slowly pushed the door open I noticed nobody was home, and sighed with relief. My first course of action was to check the fridge and the pantry, I couldn't afford to lose the small chance there was food there. Nothing, as usual. I trudged heavily up the stairs and abandoned my backpack when I got to my room, leaving it on the floor and collapsing onto my pink plush bed. The sheets were soft to the touch, and my curtains matched my baby pink bed covers. My room almost looked like a child’s room. A big brown bear rested on the corner of my room, staring back at me. Sighing, I hopped off my bed and seated myself by my white desk, taking out scrap paper and pressing my pencil to the page. What to write, what to write. I needed to impress the others tomorrow with a spectacular poem. I'll show Yuri who has real talent. Yuri. Why did I suddenly think of her? Stupid Yuri, always getting into other people's business. 'Why don't you take those home?' Hah, like she knew anything. Time passed and I still had no inspiration, I sat at my desk, continuously scribbling something and then crossing it out. My head fell to the desk, resting on the scribble-ridden page. “Ugh” I mumbled, closing my eyes. I heard the door knob downstairs rattle, and quickly became alert, head flying up from the desk. That must be Papa. “Natsuki?!” he boomed from the front door and I got up, quickly running to greet him. “Welcome home, Papa!” I smiled, my hands shaking, I never knew when he was going to change his mood and decide to - never mind. “Where's my whiskey?” he jeered, pointing towards the pantry, still facing me. “I-I...I think you finished it yesterday, Papa!” I chimed, trying hard to sound inviting. “I think I would've remembered if I drank it all!” he protested, eyebrows furrowing. What do I say to that? “Maybe you don't remember because you were drunk?” I tried and then realised from the angry look on his face that was the wrong answer. “Are you calling me irresponsible?!” he accused, visibly enraged and throwing his hands up in the air. Well he did work at a bar, and he was always drunk. Too drunk to buy food, too drunk to pick me up from school, too drunk to have a clear head. “N-no, Papa!” I cowered under his gaze, too scared to look him directly in the face. “Maybe you forgot it at work!” I suggested, knowing it was a lie. “You're right, maybe I did” he spat, walking away and I breathed out, not even noticing I'd been holding it in the entire time. “I can't cook tonight” he said, collapsing on the couch lazily and turning on the TV. “I had a rough day at work, order yourself something” he flicked his hand dismissively. I scurried upstairs holding my arms. This was something he did often, he was always completely delusional. He would tell me to order something but never gave me any money, and if the delivery guy showed up he'd be outraged, as if he had forgotten. I sat myself back at my desk, with my day ruined again. I was lucky he didn't backhand me. I felt so helpless around him, and the worst thing is...I'm happy that he wasn't as bad today. It makes me happy all he did was shout at me, like it's normal. Living in fear - it was tiring. I felt like giving up on it all, flying somewhere nobody could touch me. My own personal island. Then it came to me: my poem would be about the feeling of not being good enough, giving up, feeling helpless while other people are happy.

**Eagles Can Fly**   
Monkeys can climb   
Crickets can leap   
Horses can race   
Owls can seek   
Cheetahs can run   
Eagles can fly   
People can try   
But that's about it   


Was I being too pessimistic? Nah, it had meaning, it had emotion. It was perfect. I can't wait to show them all tomorrow! I smiled faintly to myself, packing the poem in the front pouch of my bag.  


I walked to the clubroom, classes were over and I was excited, poem in hand. I saw Yuri, she was in front of me, probably also heading to the clubroom. She hadn't noticed me, and she was seemingly cradling her wrist, maybe she hurt it. I had no need to make conversation, and I honestly didn't feel like talking to her of all people, so I hung back, letting her walk ahead of me. We were almost there, I slowed in pace, taking time to read my poem again. Did I maybe have second thoughts? A brunette girl walked past me, she almost bounced. It reminded me of Sayori, only the bouncing seemed annoyingly....annoying? On her left was a redhead with pigtails, and on her right was a girl with short blue hair. I wasn't going to lie and say they weren't a good looking bunch, but you get the idea. Then, I saw the brunette bump into Yuri. “Hey, Yu-ri! What were you doing in the bathroom earlier?” the brunette girl snickered. “Yeah, saw you run out of the stall” the redhead added, and the blue haired girl giggled. Yuri's eyes seemed to widen and she froze on the spot. “I-uh...I-I...” she spluttered. “I-I-I” the brunette mimicked, mocking her. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, Yuri was being bullied, did this happen often? I clenched my fist, shoving my poem into my pocket. “Hey, idiots!” I snarled, stomping my way up to them. Yuri's head turned in my direction, noticing me for the first time. She looked more nervous now. “What do you think you're doing?!” I seethed, standing between Yuri and brunette girl. I didn't like Yuri, that was for sure...but I knew how it felt, to be belittled. I knew how it felt to feel helpless under someone's gaze. And If I could help it, I wasn't going to let another doofus have the same power over her. Yuri withdrew behind me, hiding her face in her endless streams of purple hair. “And who are you?” the brunette asked, bending down more than needed to reach my head level. At that moment I knew she was mocking me on my short stature. The two girls whispered behind her. They definitely had the advantage, that was for sure, but there was one thing I knew about these people. They only had an advantage if you gave it to them, they couldn't hurt me like Papa could. “Me?” I smirked, “I'm not Yuri” I challenged, “And I'm not anything like her, you think you have power over me? I don't need anyone's help to deal with you, because there's nothing you can really do except pretend you're better” The brunette looked taken aback, and Yuri - well, I couldn't see Yuri, but I felt her breathe in behind me, waiting for something. “Whatever” the brunette said, moving on, and her two hand servants followed after her. I turned back to Yuri, “Who were they?” I asked, relaxing my shoulders. Puffing one's chest out was a necessity when scaring off bigger prey like her, I laughed to myself. “Akari, Ruka, and Hana” Yuri said, playing with her hair “Thank you”. It felt good, taking out my anger on someone and then getting praise for it. “Don't be so weak next time” I added, “You're way taller than them anyway” Yuri smiled, “I guess you're right”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ✎ Thank you for finishing my 2nd chapter! Sorry if it was too deep (not sorry). Stick around for the next chapter! ✎


	3. "It was cute"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri and Natsuki get into a cat fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ♡Creds to Airplaneguy9 for editing my 3rd chapter, really means a lot!♡  
Please be sure to check out his FNAF fanfiction! ( https://archiveofourown.org/works/20605550/chapters/48924287 )
> 
> Note: I won't be able to publish for another 2 weeks, due to me being on holidays! I will definitely write a lot there so when I get back I can compensate for lost time! (Haha, wish Aero luck, he will have a lot to edit)

**Yuri**

I was in the club room, Natsuki had walked me there after our encounter with Akrari and her friends just to be sure they wouldn't come back. Since when did Natsuki care so much? I tried to keep a firm hold on my wrist, I had cut a little too deep in my bathroom session, triggering me to cry out in pain and alert the three girls in the bathroom. Natsuki was folding out a crumpled piece of paper she took out her pocket while Sayori was harassing her on bringing more cupcakes next time. Masato looked nervous, maybe because it was his first ever written poem? Monika took a stand at the front of the classroom, “Ok, everyone! Have we all got our poems ready?” Monika asked, touching the end of her pen to her chin. “Yes!” Sayori bubbled, hopping over to Monika, “Can I go first?!” Sayori hugged her poem to her chest. “Of course” Monika grinned, walking to the side, allowing Sayori to take her spot.

Bottles

I pop off my scalp like the lid of a cookie jar.

It's the secret place where I keep all my dreams.  
Little balls of sunshine, all rubbing together like a bundle of kittens.

I reach inside with my thumb and forefinger and pluck one out.  
It's warm and tingly.  
But there's no time to waste! I put it in a bottle to keep it safe.  
And I put the bottle on the shelf with all of the other bottles.  
Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts in bottles, all in a row.  
My collection makes me lots of friends.  
Each bottle a starlight to make amends.  
Sometimes my friend feels a certain way.  
Down comes a bottle to save the day.  
Night after night, more dreams.  
Friend after friend, more bottles.  
Deeper and deeper my fingers go.  
Like exploring a dark cave, discovering the secrets hiding in the nooks and crannies.  
Digging and digging.  
Scraping and scraping.  
I blow dust off my bottle caps.  
It doesn't feel like time elapsed.  
My empty shelf could use some more.  
My friends look through my locked front door.  
Finally, all done. I open up, and in come my friends.  
In they come, in such a hurry. Do they want my bottles that much?  
I frantically pull them from the shelf, one after the other.  
Holding them out to each and every friend.  
Each and every bottle.  
But every time I let one go, it shatters against the tile between my feet.  
Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts in shards, all over the floor.  
They were supposed to be for my friends, my friends who aren't smiling.  
They're all shouting, pleading. Something.  
But all I hear is echo, echo, echo, echo, echo  
Inside my head.

Sayori started out confident with her poem, but it ended on a flat note, as if she felt...sad? No way, that wasn't like Sayori. But her poem - did she write this? I glanced over to Monika, she looked as confused as I was, only her facial expression was serious. Masato had his eyes wide in horror, but then broke the silence by clapping. I joined in with Monika and Natsuki, and Sayori broke out in a smile. “Thank you!” She laughed, giving us a big bow.

After Masato and Monika had gone, and of course Sayori with her surprising poem it was Natsuki's turn to take the 'stage' and announce her poem. She strutted to the front of the class, grinning devilishly as usual and cleared her throat.

Eagles Can Fly  
Monkeys can climb  
Crickets can leap  
Horses can race  
Owls can seek  
Cheetahs can run  
Eagles can fly  
People can try  
But that's about it

It was a little stubby for my liking, I liked the use of metaphors, but I could appreciate different styles.

“So, what did you all think?!” Natsuki asked proudly resting her hands on her hips. “Amazing!” Masato whistled, Monika smiled and Sayori clapped like crazy. Natsuki stared at me expectantly. “It was cute” I really wanted to say something nice, especially since she helped me deal with Akari. “Excuse me?” Natsuki raged, balling her hands into fists are her sides. “I-I-...I didn't mean-” I stuttered helplessly, trying to grasp at something, anything. “So you missed the meaning entirely?!” Natsuki continued to denounce. Monika was looking worried at the situation and Masato dead quiet. “Hey, guys! Let's not fight!” Sayori cheered, while bouncing between us. “This doesn't involve you!” Natsuki bellowed to Sayori and she quickly backed off. I was starting to get upset. “I was trying to say something nice, ok?!” I argued, louder than I would've wanted. “You had to try that hard to say something likable?!” Natsuki continued, she keep getting redder and redder. “Poor you!” I got up quickly, forcing my desk forward and scratching against the floor, making an unpleasant sound. “Look, you're being childish!” I stated, annoyed that we had been getting along so well and she got upset for no reason. “You're just an edgy wannabe” Natsuki screamed. Where was all this coming from? “I hate you with every inch of my being!” Natsuki just kept going and going. “That's not a lot of inches then” I half-joked and she exploded. “What do you do in the bathroom then, Yuri?!” Monika, Sayori, and Masato all looked to me.

My heart sank. Did she hear that I cut myself? Is that why she didn't like me? I stood there staring wide-eyed, but not really seeing anything.“Huh?” I asked stupidly. Natsuki was glaring at me dangerously. “I have to go!” I stammered, grabbing my backpack. “You haven't shared your poem yet!” Monika exclaimed, waving her arms to signal me to slow down. “Hey, what's going on?” Sayori mumbled to Monika. “I just-” I started bolting towards the door and Masato grabbed my arm. “What are you doing?” he faltered, trying to keep me back. I yanked my arm from his tight hold and dashed towards the door. I threw it open and flew down the hallway, as I neared the exit I heard footsteps behind me and sped up my pace. “Slow down, you idiot!” I heard Natsuki rasp behind me. Her legs were too short to keep up with me. My chest burned and my breathing became more delayed as I ran down the street. I didn't hear the footsteps anymore. I started running home.

As I got to the front door I unlocked it, pushing down the handle and letting the cool air conditioning blow through my hair and dry my sticky face. “Ahhh” I sighed in relief, they couldn't get me here. As I was about to step inside my house I heard footsteps stomping heavily behind me and turned my head sharply. Crap, did she follow me? Natsuki rounded the corner and ran up my driveway. Her short hair stuck to her temples with sweat and she looked worn out, more worn out than someone who ran here would usually be. Was she really that unfit? As I was about to tell her to leave calmly, she collapsed. Into a heap, onto the floor. She had blacked out from fatigue right in front of me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ✐Thanks for finishing mt 3rd chapter! As usual drop a kudo or comment requesting anything, I'm always open to ideas!✐

**Author's Note:**

> Fanart will come shortly, I'll try upload 2 chapters a week! If that doesn't happen I'm either busy or.... Busy. But expect 2 a week otherwise!


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